Forming Good Habits and Communicating Effectively
【Many parents feel that their children have a lot of “problems” that need to be solved, but it is often difficult to “solve” them because the essence of the problems and their patterns are overlooked.】
The problem is solved by looking to the essence.
1. 从问题入手 Starting from the problem
2. 到达实质 Reaching to the essence
3. 了解规律 Understand internal laws
4. 消除问题 Solving problems
【What parents need to do when thinking about the problems of their children is to categorize the problems, what has to be intervened, what can be left alone appropriately, and what needs to be guided.】.
将问题归类 Classify problems
1. 必要 Necessarily
明确：边界即保护 Clear: Boundary means protection
2. 重要 Important
Progressive: Inner power, overcoming fragility
3. 可要 Optional
Empathy: Appropriate comfort zone
【The most important theme of communication between parents and children in primary school is to help them build inner strength and overcome vulnerability.】
Common Fragile Behaviors in Life
1. 暴躁，情绪化 Irritable, emotional
2. 容忍度低，评判 Low tolerance and always judging
3. 原则性强，张弛力不足 Strong principle and lack of flexibility
4. 妥协，总想息事宁人 Compromising, not facing the problems
5. 辩解，这不是我的错 Justifying, it’s not my fault
6. 抱怨，不愿意承担责任 Complaining and unwilling to take responsibility
【In middle school as well as high school, according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory, communication with children should not stop at the lower level of needs, but start from the higher level of needs. Inspire your child in thinking and help him or her to adjust his or her physical and mental state in order to better face stress and challenges.】
The highest level of communication is the lowest level.
The goal of communication: to change the state of mind and body.