Wellbeing|Parent’s Lecture – Forming Good Habits and Communicating Effectively

By Tuesday September 26th, 2023Events

THIS Wellbeing


On September 19th, the THIS counseling team invited Ms. Yang Xuchen, a psychologist and nationally certified psychological counselor, to give two lectures on the theme of ” Forming Good Habits and Communicating Effectively” to the parents of both primary and secondary parents. Ms. Yang Xuchen analyzed the difficulties and key points in parent-child relationship from the perspectives of different ages and stages of growth separately of primary and secondary students, and provided a new understanding and practical methods on how to help children establish good habits and how to build effective communication channels between parents and children. Parents were inspired and benefited from Ms. Yang’s analysis of the principles and practical cases.

Dr. Gerald Anthony (Primary School Counselor and Wellbeing Coordinator) and Ms. Laura Zhang (Secondary School Counselor) from the counseling team hope that through organizing this kind of seminar for parents, we can help parents to understand better about what occur in the process of their children’s growth, to understand and support their children in the process of growing, and to learn and improve themselves with their children. Moreover, we hope to collaborate with the parents to help their children’s physical and mental health and development and to empower them to a bright future.



Forming Good Habits and Communicating Effectively




【Many parents feel that their children have a lot of “problems” that need to be solved, but it is often difficult to “solve” them because the essence of the problems and their patterns are overlooked.】



The problem is solved by looking to the essence.


1. 从问题入手 Starting from the problem

2. 到达实质 Reaching to the essence

3. 了解规律 Understand internal laws

4. 消除问题 Solving problems




What parents need to do when thinking about the problems of their children is to categorize the problems, what has to be intervened, what can be left alone appropriately, and what needs to be guided.】.


将问题归类 Classify problems


1. 必要 Necessarily

明确:边界即保护  Clear: Boundary means protection

2. 重要 Important


Progressive: Inner power, overcoming fragility

3. 可要 Optional


Empathy: Appropriate comfort zone




【The most important theme of communication between parents and children in primary school is to help them build inner strength and overcome vulnerability.



Common Fragile Behaviors in Life


1. 暴躁,情绪化 Irritable, emotional

2. 容忍度低,评判 Low tolerance and always judging

3. 原则性强,张弛力不足 Strong principle and lack of flexibility

4. 妥协,总想息事宁人 Compromising, not facing the problems

5. 辩解,这不是我的错 Justifying, it’s not my fault

6. 抱怨,不愿意承担责任 Complaining and unwilling to take responsibility




【In middle school as well as high school, according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory, communication with children should not stop at the lower level of needs, but start from the higher level of needs. Inspire your child in thinking and help him or her to adjust his or her physical and mental state in order to better face stress and challenges.】



The highest level of communication is the lowest level.



The goal of communication: to change the state of mind and body.

About the Speaker

Ms. Xuchen Yang

  • Master of Child Psychological Development from the Chinese Academy of Sciences

  • National Certified Psychological Consultant

  • Lecturer of Mindful Self-Compassion System at Harvard Medical School

  • Lecturer of Hellinger Family Constellations at Hellinger School in Germany

Practiced in Beijing Anding Hospital, working in the psychological industry for nearly ten years, Xuchen was invited to give lectures in multiple enterprises and schools, such as Beijing Chen Jinglun School, Beijing Keystone International School, Beijing Yifan International School, Beijing New Talent School, Beijing Shunyi Hospital, Beijing Qingniao Training, etc. Xuchen is an expert at combining the Positive Discipline System content of Western family education with Chinese traditional Confucian education concepts while helping parents find the appropriate educational concepts and methods that adapt to the current social and humanistic environments. Xuchen also has great experience at adjusting the psychological problems of common adolescents and children who are tired of or dropping out of school, correcting addictive behaviors and habits, and treating mental diseases such as children’s tics, hyperactivity, and depression.

Let’s look forward to

more wellbeing activities and parent Lectures in the future and work together for the growth of our students!

文字 Writing | Laura Zhang,Mercy Xu

排版 Editing | Mercy Xu

图片 Pictures | Fontaine Yang,Mercy Xu

审核 Auditing | Scott Pare, Toni Dong, Wenping Li


本篇文章来源于微信公众号: 清华附中国际部

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