THIS Parent School | The Secret of Nurturing: 6A Balanced Parenting

By Friday March 26th, 2021Events

第19期家长学校讲座回顾及20期预告
THIS Parent School



第19期家长学校回顾
养育孩子的秘诀 做6A平衡式父母
The Secret of Nurturing: 6A Balanced Parenting

在漫长的育儿过程中,如何成为让孩子亲近而信赖的父母?怎样才能给孩子最好的关爱和管教,在美好的亲子关系中培养更健康和更优秀的孩子?2021年3月19日,深受家长欢迎的清华附中国际部家长学校,在学校的支持和家委会的组织下,开启了新学期的第一次讲座,继续讨论亲子教育的话题。

During the long journey of raising a child, we ask ourselves how can we help children trust and be close to their parents? How can we create a parent-child relationship that provides the best care and management to enable children to be both healthy and outstanding? With the support of THIS and the Parent Council, on March 19th, 2021, by popular demand, the 19th Parent School lecture was held as we continue to seek answers to these questions.

由于疫情原因,本次讲座采取线上、线下相结合的形式,有限的线下名额迅速报满,更多的家长聚集在直播会议室中参加了活动。主讲人唐华博士,是麻省理工学院生物医学工程博士,前麻省理工学院中国面试官,现为北京合美之家教育咨询有限公司首席讲师,国家三级心理咨询师。身为三个孩子的妈妈和专业的心理咨询师,唐博士的讲座题为“养育孩子的三个秘诀”,她向大家介绍了做6A平衡式父母的理念,令人耳目一新,受益匪浅。

Due to the epidemic, this lecture was held both online and offline. The limited offline spaces were quickly filled, with many more parents logging in online to participate. The lecturer, Dr. Tang Hua, holds a Ph.D. in Biomedical Engineering from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, was a former MIT alumni interviewer for China, is currently the chief lecturer for Beijing Hemei, and is a national third-level psychological counselor. As a mother of three children and a professional psychological counselor, Dr. Tang shared three secrets for raising children and introduced the concept of being a 6A balanced parent.

这是一场紧扣主题、层层深入的讲座。唐博士首先指出,在这个儿童青少年心理健康危机日益严重且低龄化的时代,身为父母,面临巨大的挑战。摆在家长面前一个至关重要的问题是:培养孩子的目标,到底是什么?

In this in-depth lecture, Dr. Tang pointed out that in this time when the mental health crisis among children and adolescents is increasingly serious at a much younger age, parents face enormous challenges. A crucial question before parents is: What is the goal of raising children?

唐博士向大家介绍了一个培养MCS孩子的目标。M(Mission),活出使命,鼓励寻求意义;C(Character),塑造品格,看重过程中的态度;S(Service),身怀绝技,谦卑服务,鼓励往下扎根。培养MCS 孩子,是培养孩子的根基,培养孩子的幸福感和领导力密码,将使孩子受益一生。

Dr. Tang introduced the MCS goal for raising children. M (Mission): live life with a mission and encourage the search for meaning; C (Character): shape the child’s character, emphasizing the attitude during the process; S (Service): possess skills, provide humble service, and encourage putting down roots. According to Dr. Tang, MCS can be a fundamental way to cultivate a child’s sense of happiness and leadership, providing a lifetime of benefit.

养成MCS 孩子,有两大根本要素,即父母自身的成长和榜样,及良好的亲子关系。建立亲子关系有四种模式,以父母为中心的强权模式,以孩子为中心的溺爱模式,没有建立关系的忽略模式和6A平衡模式。其中6A平衡式的亲子关系,是一种真爱和真管的亲子关系,是一个爱和管教的平衡定律,可以帮助家长培养出有责任感的孩子。

There are two fundamental elements in the development of MCS in children, namely the parents’ own growth as role models, and a good parent-child relationship. There are four types of parent-child relationships: 1) parent-centered power relationship; 2) child-centered doting relationship; 3) relationship of neglect; 4) and a 6A balanced relationship. In Dr. Tang’s view, the 6A balanced parent-child relationship is the kind of relationship based on true love and real discipline. It strikes a balance between love and discipline, helping parents raise responsible children.

6A指的是:Acceptance,接纳;Appreciation,赞赏;Availability,时间;Affection,关爱;Accountability,责任;Authority,权威。家长通过对孩子的接纳和赞赏,建立与孩子的亲密关系。家长认同孩子,尊重孩子,帮助孩子建立安全感和自我价值,这是真爱,是培养孩子的秘诀之一。家长的权威和责任,是对孩子的管教和约束。家长给孩子设立界限,帮助孩子成为自制、负责和自主的人,这是真管,是培养孩子的秘诀之二。培养孩子的第三个秘诀是关爱,在这个秘诀中,婚姻第一。父母重视婚姻关系可以帮助孩子建立安全感,树立婚姻榜样,脱离自我中心,是对孩子的关爱。

6A refers to: Acceptance, Appreciation, Availability, Affection, Accountability, Authority. Parents establish an intimate relationship with their children through accepting and appreciating their children. Parents acknowledge their children, respect their children, and help children build a sense of security and self-worth. This is true love and the first secret to raising children.

The authority and responsibility of the parent is to discipline and restrain the child when needed. Parents set boundaries for their children, helping them have self-control, as they become responsible and independent. This is true management, which is the second secret to raising children.

The third secret to raising children is to be caring. In this secret, the emphasis is on the marital relationship. Parents’ emphasis on their own spousal relationship can help children build a sense of security, set an example of a healthy marriage, and avoid self-centered attitudes.

这是一场真诚交流、亲密互动的讲座。你希望你的孩子在40岁时是个什么样子?从思考和分享这个问题开始,唐博士的讲座吸引着到场的各位家长参与其中。在讲座中,家长们站起身来,模拟早餐桌上的冲突,共同尝试用6A 理论中的方法来解决问题。在讨论“真管三部曲”之“攒本钱、立界限和严管教”时,就如何通过解决冲突来确定界限的问题,家长们的诸多切身体会,引起了深深的共鸣和热烈的讨论。

The atmosphere during the lecture was sincere and intimate. “What do you want your child to be like at 40?” Starting from this question, Dr. Tang’s lecture drew the attention of all the parents present. During the lecture, parents practiced the methods in the 6A theory by trying to solve problems through simulating a conflict at the breakfast table. On the topic of the “True Management Trilogy”, “saving money, setting boundaries, and maintaining strict discipline” were the main methods discussed. The parents shared their own personal experiences to think about how to determine boundaries. The lecture was lively and inspired heated discussions.

带着困惑来,带着感悟离开。再次感谢唐博士的精彩讲座,引领家长们在学习和交流中思考与获益。在学习中成长,在交流中进步,我们期待着清华附中国际部家长学校的下一次课堂。

The parents came confused and with questions, but many left with feelings of relief and being inspired. We are grateful to Dr. Tang for her thought-provoking lecture, which encouraged parents to think, learn and communicate. As personal growth comes from learning, we look forward to the next session of the THIS Parent School.

点击链接观看完整讲座内容
唐华:养育孩子的三个秘诀


第20期家长学校预告

家长改变一小步,孩子成长一大步!
家长好好学习,孩子天天向上!

演讲题目 

和小学家长们谈心:

提高孩子成绩,有哪些不可或缺的因素?

讲座时间

2021年3月29日周一

13:30-15:00

参与方式


文字 Writing | THIS Parents
排版 Editing | Mercy Xu
审核 Auditing | Shiny Wang, Donald Holder, Wenping Li

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